The Faces of Mad Dog 357

I have 5 best friends, and we all have beautiful wives (or girlfriend). Our friendship is very special, and unique, and doesn't really make sense to anyone. We've all been best friends since around the age of 11. We call ourselves the Brohams. This month we had our second annual Brohamcation, where we all come together to celebrate our friendship, and to eat and drink everything. A red cozy cabin in the Wenatchee Forest, just outside of the Bavarian town of Leavenworth would be our humble abode for the weekend. Firstly, there is no better place to be in late fall, early winter. It is absolutely stunning and you need to go there right now. There are so many stories and lovely memories that I could share with you, which I will someday (Okay, fine. We played this game called "family" around one hundred times, which, hey Aust! Can we run that back!? We played fish bowl, cards against humanity, cranium, went on a beautiful hike, played sardines, and just had the most amazing time with the best friends, and I am very sad it is over), but that isn't why we are here. I'm here to take you on a journey, and I would like to call it "The Faces of Mad Dog 357".

My Best Friend Steve, whom I have know for 16 years, has the spice/hot food tolerance of a spartan warrior. I, on the other hand, have the tolerance of a baby little infant child, and those infant babies probably have more. A banana pepper gives me violent hiccups, a banana pepper. Best Friend Steve has an epic collection of hot sauces, all massively hotter than a banana pepper, and of which would eff me up. There is an entire shelf full of these assholes. And you could probably conclude, Best Friend Steve brought one of those asshole hot sauces to Hamcation, and not just any hot sauce, but Mad Dog 357, with a scoville level (hot-o-meter) of 750,000. That is exactly 750,000 hotter than a banana pepper, you know, the pepper that screws me? We all sat around the dinner table as a family, and took a tiny little small tip of a cool ranch Doritos chip sampling of this stupid sauce, what harm could this cause? This is the beginning of our Journey, my friends: 

 Here I am, so young, ignorant, and naive. 

Here I am, so young, ignorant, and naive. 

 Almost instant Eaters Remorse. The back of tongue feels like 700 ants are eating it. 

Almost instant Eaters Remorse. The back of tongue feels like 700 ants are eating it. 

 gag.

gag.

 forcefully out of control.

forcefully out of control.

 hold on!

hold on!

 FOR FREEEEEEDOM!

FOR FREEEEEEDOM!

 false sweats. 

false sweats. 

 the ice cream is taunting me. 

the ice cream is taunting me. 

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 not bad after all...

not bad after all...

 I surrender, Mad Dog. 

I surrender, Mad Dog. 

 Just a small little tip. 

Just a small little tip. 

 If I close my eyes, maybe this stupid pain will go away?

If I close my eyes, maybe this stupid pain will go away?

 Here come the violent hiccups. 

Here come the violent hiccups. 

 oops, a little more than a hiccup. 

oops, a little more than a hiccup. 

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 pull it together. 

pull it together. 

 that are itchy. 

that are itchy. 

 too hot, folks. 

too hot, folks. 

 my wife checking my skin temp. 

my wife checking my skin temp. 

 psych, it is still raging in my throat. 

psych, it is still raging in my throat. 

 Shout out to Rocky Road

Shout out to Rocky Road

 All smiles so far. This is fun! 

All smiles so far. This is fun! 

 Nope. 

Nope. 

 Very violent.

Very violent.

 ...

...

 heavenly father...

heavenly father...

 never mind 

never mind 

 and painful.

and painful.

 get out of me, you demon sauce. 

get out of me, you demon sauce. 

 Ahh the relief....

Ahh the relief....

 gag.

gag.

 RIP Throat. 

RIP Throat. 

Shannon WinantComment